Rating the Milli-Squirrels

Anyone who has spent any time at Millikin is aware of the personalities that make up the squirrel population on campus. If you have ever had the pleasure to have class moved outside, or have just come across one out on campus, you know that these little guys are highly desensitized to the presence of students, and in some cases, verge on being friendly. They’ve been called bold, brash, and over-fed on Cafe leftovers; however, these squirrels form the backbone of the critters, birds, and bugs which make Millikin’s campus feel vibrant and alive. In appreciation of these charismatic creatures, below is a collection of some of the squirrels gracing our campus this Fall semester, judged and ranked on a scale of 1-10:

Squirrelvester Stalone:

The Rocky Balboa of squirrels, he stands ready to throw down with an acorn secured and his paws up. Tufts of fur missing from his tail show that he is prepared for whatever the harsh environment of campus.

Score: 8/10

George H. W. Bushy-tailed

The form, the poise. What else is there to say, he’s gone horizontal on that tree and for that we award him...

Score: 6/10

George W. Bushy-tailed

Not as impressive as his father, however, he does appear to be very polite and I would give him a french fry.

Score: 5/10

The Ponderer

What are they thinking about? What meaning does the grey of the pavement hold for them that we cannot see? Obviously a gentleman and a scholar.

Score: 7/10

Franklin

There is an air of guilt around this squirrel. His tiny hands are clearly meant for evil deeds. Whatever his crimes, looking at that face we simply can’t judge him too harshly.

Score: 4/10

Sandy

Obviously an experienced Milli-squirrel, there is no hesitation in the presence of a photographer. Perfectly at home on the side of a tree as she would be under the sea. She poses, she serves, we may even go so far as to say she slays.

Score: 9/10

Big Red

Something in its eyes connotes a wisdom beyond the years of any regular squirrel. Watching from the trees, waiting for an unsuspecting student to fall into its trap, even Duo wouldn’t ask this squirrel to identify itself.

Score: 10/10